We are not alone

Why is it that as women we feel alone.

I sat here feeling alone then Erica rang.

I remembered that I am not alone.

I am never alone.

But sometimes I feel this way.

I think we all do.

Why, Lord, do you let us feel alone?

Does your heart ache as we sit here in our misunderstanding?

Then you reach in and pull us out.

I am not alone and neither are you.

Is it necessary that we feel alone so that the God shaped hole in our hearts aches till we turn to Him and remember that we are not alone and that we are His children.

He is our Father.

And that the richness he fills us with, is ever the more richer for the alone times we have.

Truth not feeling.

This is what my mum tried to tell me.

I was too young to understand.

Too young, too busy to listen.

Now I know for myself.

All images and text copyright of J.R.Marsden

HAZELNUTCOTTAGE

IF YOU WANT TO PLACE A CHRISTMAS ORDER IT MUST BE DONE BY 1ST DECEMBER.
JUST SO YOU KNOW

I start the week........

All images and text unless otherwise stated copyright and sole property of J.R.MarsdenAnd so I start the week with yellow (yes the nicotene variety Jackie) hair that appears to be snapping off at every given opportunity (when pulling clothes over head, brushing past objects , sleeping, blinking and when scratching mildly irritated scalp.) Jamie hugged me before he left for work and said please stop trying to save me money with your hair. Wise words yet again from the once neanderthal now coffee driven Peterpan.
I also have a lovely face full of spots and until I opened my bible felt slightly despondant, unemployed, useless and well you know, just not quite Kylie Minogue. (Who despite her music, remains one of my idols- well not in the biblicale sense, just in a succulent if only i were you kind of way, except I'm happy being me really kind of a way. Yes yes of course you understand!)
Then I opened my bible readings and God said
"I delight in you"
Actually He said "The Lord delights in you" Isiah 62v4. Obviously not copyright to me see other bible verse copyrights
My heart breathed a sigh of relief. Despondancy flew out of the window and I'm back to feeeling loved, cherished and the Kylie of my own little world.
Oh literally what a friend we have in Jesus.
So it's make - up and a hat and book myself into the hairdressers or stay in.
I'm going to opt for the staying in and continueing with the Christmas factory. Job searching, course starting, and all that biz will wait till tomorrow.
For today me and the Lord will delight in each other.
While I make gifts to share His love for Christmas.

Wind

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Wintery days,

Summery haze.

Dawn's moon

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Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982, by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Psalm 110v3 In the beauties of holiness, from the womb of the morning.

Psalm 104v19 He appointed the moon for seasons; The sun knows its going down.

Psalm 148v1-5 PRAISE the Lord! Praise the Lord from the heavens; Praise Him in the heights! Praise Him all his angels; Praise Him all His hosts! Praise Him sun and moon; Praise Him all you stars of light! Praise Him you heavens of heavens, And you waters above the heavens! Let them praise the name of the Lord, For He commanded and they were created.

Flash Gordon

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My father (for all his sins) has always let me be myself. As I've grown up I've come to realise this is a rare gift. Most (but by no means all!!) parents seem to behave like shoehorns. Lovingly, usually, but a shoehorn is a shoehorn. A lifetime of being made to fit into the right shoe.
Not me, by either parent.
Fly away little bird and see where she lands.
"OK" I said and off I flew.
...And when I was chucked out homeless onto the streets of Bristol, where was he?
Why on his way to collect me in a big van to house my many things strewn across the pavement.
...And when I lost my first baby and my mother was dead, where was he?
Living alone in a house that he invited me into till my wings were mended and I could fly off again.
I like to imagine he lets me fly off and sits back with a nice hot cup of coffee watching curiously to see where I land.
...And now I've landed, settled, nested. Where is he?
Well, busy usually. Drinking coffee on the run (actually he likes green tea). I'd like more everydayness, visits , calls, more hello's.
I, too, must learn the lesson he gave me and let him be himself.
I imagine in a crisis he'd turn up in a flash.

Gemini moon

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We ate a rather delicious salad for tea then walked under the moonlight.

Glorious, the pictures don't do it justice. I should have took my tripod and had a better camera. I am not complaining, I am very happy with what I have.

Generally actually.

Fortunate little me.

Par contre, this is what I snapped on this moony eve of gemini.

Oh inconstant moon.

Grogné

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Upon the moonlit walk we found one of our kitty's doing a moonlit flitty! He mewed and mewed and joined us for the walk home. Now he happily munches his kitty biscuits.
Naughty kitty in some one else's garden!

Poetry in motion

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New hair

New prayer

New mére

Life rare

Like a poéme

drawing closer

to its titled end.

Kittling borne brow

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Oh kitty me,

unwittingly,

Creature of the night!

prowl upon me,

howl without me!

kittling furry fright!

Diamonds are not this girls best friend!

All images and text coptright and sole property of the blogging MissJ.R.Marsden

Oh my furry friend,

With a mind that doesn't bend.

Cuddle me,

Muddle me,

Lovingly unfuddle me.

google me moogle its a gemini moon

All images and text copyright and sole property of little miss Marsden.

The moon grows moonier,

My mind grows loonier

and all the while my tummy grows cakier

Witch pie

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I snuck this photo the other day through my friend Pilar's curtains. Life in all its sneaky normalness. Talking of which (curtains that is).... my beautiful Erica has finished most of our curtains!!! oh cosy kitten type lives. What a woman. Yes of course I shall post a photo of their deliciousness.....when Jamie has fitted them.....

And as for my morning, much fruitfulness at the job centre! Many new things to do. I'm on my way, maybe not quite to stardom, but at least out the front door on a regular basis.

And my apres-midi.... why much fruitfulness indoors of course. Hiding from the torrential rain. Sarah came for lunch. My beloved homme came home early and stoked up the fire on a regular basis to keep us toasty while we were all creative.

Sarah helped bleach my rather shockingly long dark roots, then with my new leapard look we sat and did charcoal drawings of each other.

Yes, lovely, I am a happy bean.

A whole morning in french and a whole pm of creativity.

and potential brews in many pies.

The naughty escapades of Prince Tigerpuss

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Neznoir in his 18 months of life has only missed two meals.
So imagine my utter horror when I discovered he was not waiting for me this cloudy but not too cold morning.
I fed the others expecting him and his right angled tail to leap through the cat flap at any moment. To appologise profusely for his lateness and to demand tuna for the pleasure of his company.
Nothing......
Not a peep.
The other three beauties happily munched away, glad that no one was trying to steal their long awaited breakfast.
I took my coffee and went to sit with Jesus in the morning room.
Like waiting for Santa, I listened out for the jingling of Neznoir's extra loud and festive Christmas bell.
No, I heard only the tinkles of the other more gracefull kitties.
I got up to make Jamie's coffee.
With the kettle on the gas, before it's whistle kicked into full swing, i swung open the top part of our stable-like backdoor and performed the obvious.
I banged a tuna tin like a drum and called Neznoir at the top of my voice. The sounds bounced round next doors court yard and over the gardens. Yes of course the neighbours understand. They know a mad cat woman lives next door.
The other cats went suitably bonkers, throwing themselves at the door and the unopened but resonating tin of tuna.
I told them they could have some if they brought their brother home.
Pierrot then went off and peered down the well for a worrying amount of time. ( I kid you not it was very bizarre).
Then the girls started to actually look at the places where he may appear from.
Then they purposefully sat staring in one direction, which meant that little Mr Prince Tigerpuss was at the front of the house in the street.
I opened the front door and was met with the howls of my furry beloved. I searched and searched. I could hear but not see him though his cries were clear as pretty church bells .
Then, I ruined my fluffy pink slippers running out (in my pyjamas) into the rain and attempted to rescue him from ........
the roof across the road!!!!
Oh the treacherous paths he had to cross to come to my mewingly encouraging heart.
Originallly, he tried to leap straight towards me (very big drop) so without actually climbing any walls I guided him across the streets rooftops. Allors! the sticky moment arrived when he had to go through the garden of the six cats! (Six, what a joy , i thought our four were enough but they have six.)
My poor yowling Prince braved it and ran through the rooftop garden terrace and down their stairs and straight into my arms!!!! well ok he performed his I wasn't stuck really dance brushing up against wall and gate. Then into my arms full of relief and loud purrs.
All was well.
Tuna was liberally awarded to all and all the kitties got extra cuddles as the thought of being without them was just too much.
I must include the help Pierrot also gave to her brother with encouraging mews alongside me.
Poor Hagrid waited indoors obviously beside herself with fear for her brother (by her plate!)
Now the family is once again complete and the big man who missed all the excitement and didn't hear a thing, is now awake lighting the fire and doing the man jobs.
Soon he will turn from neanderthal into the intelligent eloquent man we all recognise as Jamie the man with the moto.
And the day begins..........

Elixir of life

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Life old,
Life new,
joys and sadness,
life through,
smile today,
smile anew,
brighten your heart,
the old fashioned way,
give to me,
as i give to you,
my heart afresh,
my smile anew,

Smile with the grace,
of life beginning.

A joke by Anna and Billie-Ella

All images and text copyright of J.R.Marsden unless otherwise stated. Image spotted by Jamie. Joke by A and B-E Udeh.

(essential background info. I am allergic to dairy products. Please bear in mind for the ensueing bloggage and for when I next come for tea.Thank you.)

What's the difference between a flea, a wolf and Jo?

One prowls on the hairy!

One howls on the prairie!

and one frowns on the dairy!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile back at Le Ranch....

(This is not actually our house sign, it's from the earlier walk)
I took 32 pictures of the kitchen sink.

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Brrum brrum

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Jamie was so enthused by the lovely weather, that upon our return he went out for a quick raz on the moto. He arrived home far too quickly for the described distance. He is now snuggled by the fire reading a moto magazine. Obsession?

A beeyootiful car....I mean day.

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It warmed up to a balmy ten degrees, no more minuses. So we went for a lovely walk. My eskimo suit was too warm so we had to come back for me to change. OK, so really we had to come back because I forgot I had left the oven on. Then we went back out for another walk.

Nothings burnt!!!

Our beautiful little Man, BB!

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BB in hat as promised in below blog entry. Oh my little man.

We loved him so much. He was so happy in Jamie's hat. In fact the beautiful spirit who wore a dog suit, was generally a very happy little man.

Our companion and confidant. Our walker of many walks. My best photography model.

My friend Anna's daughter, Billie-Ella (who is my friend of course in her own right) said to Anna completely unprompted...

"We could send messages up in balloons to BB and Jo's mum could read them to him."

Beautiful girl.

Beautiful friendships.

Beautiful life.

There is a time for everything and so much to thank God for.

Thank You!

Now, if I can just get Neznoir comfortable in his new hat.......

Christmas Creations

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Christmas is coming,

The goose is getting fat,

Let us pluck it quickly,

and make a feather hat!

I would like to add that I'm not really into celebrating Christmas early. It is what it is and there is a time for everything. Usually, we only put our tree up on Christmas eve. Christmas is about Jesus and the giving of His life for ours. So we share gifts in remembrance. Not for commercialism etc etc.

However as we live a million miles away from our families and some friends. I have the post to think about. I also need time to create this sharings of love. (Shopping, Christmas shopping! I live in the french countryside! We are lucky to have a veg shop alongside the boulangerie. There will be minimal christmas shopping, unfortunately for those of you who prefer up to date modern type items.) As for the nearest and in no way walkable distanced post office, it opens randomly four days a week, closes for lunch and occasionally has a shut for a variety of reasons sign.

Thank the Lord for vehicles, petrol and other far away towns witrh normal post office opening hours..

So I am in a bit of an early Christmas frenzy. I do have to admit it. This is mainly due to my art room being in such a splendiferous state of creation, wrappings and general festivity. I have yet to get neznoir in his Christmas hat for the creation of something most of you will recieve. So far I've only managed to get him into the Christmas collar. If only my faithful hound BB was here. He was so pleased to wear Jamie's hat one day that I may search my extensive photo library for the picture to show you. My green eyed kitty needs some training. I'm sure once I've explained the fame involved to Prince Tigerpuss, he will comply.

Still minus six and counting.

Minus six degrees!!!

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Minus six degrees and gorgeous blue skies. I think its the eskimo suit and a camera type of day.

I think this woolly little kitty will be by the fire.

I was so excited about the minus , that I celebrated by giving the cats a whole tin of tuna (hmmn like every day) but, you know in a special "have tuna before you freeze your tiny paws" kind of way.

Glorious! More coffee for Jamie, then a walk.

Can't wait.

Of course without thermals, a woodburner, hot drinks and wood, I would be very cross and very cold, but we have all these things so it's good.

Bonne journée!

Finally the cycling eskimo kitten returns home from the village on a hill

All images and text copyright and sole property of J.R.Marsden. A.K.A the eskimo kitten, likljo, likljoblogs.

In actual fact you are viewing all these photos backwards. I did not realise that they would not all fit on one blog entry! Too much input for it's fragile computer mind. So scroll at your leisure and enjoy my journey.

I gave a delightfully entertaining english lesson in the village at the top of the hill. Then I cycled home. In truth Jamie gave me a lift there. I did intend to cycle but due to mincing around with the cats, blogging, praying, reading, coffeeing morninging, I would have been late. The cycle home was rather exhilerating, as you can see.

However what you don't see, is the battle against the mistral wind to cycle in one unswerving direction. 0 degree with freezing winds and still I stop to take pictures. I did take some of these while cycling. My camera strap tightly wound around my wrist and my double gloved hand squeasing randomly at the go button while trying not to fall, swerve and hoping I didn't suddenly need both brakes. A feat indeed. Well executed though don't ya think. Can you tell which ones were on the move ? (apart from the obvious one). While cycling throught the last village before my home village, my batteries failed me! Typical! Never before has it happened. My precious rechargables are at their recharging limit. I will forgive them. They work hard. I think I average about a hundred photo's a day.

So the images you don't see are the crashed ditched car. The big house with the big tree and the big mountainous view of blue.The big knickers in pink and blue on a washing line in a background of shrubbery, mountains and blue sky the same colour as the knickers. Maybe I'll catch those another time.

still the eskimo kitten's cycle home from the village on the hill

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I paused for a polystyrene fruity snack of apple and rice cakes at the wine cave. (See first photo of this blog entry.) Before continueing on through Roudé and on to yonder villages.

The eskimo kittens cycle home from the village on a hill.

See the wee village upon the hill. That's where I started my cycle.

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There's more, there's more (irish accent). Scroll up, the journey is printed backwards.

Blue

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Blue is the sky,

Day is nigh,

Bring it on,

Carry me strong,

Hold our love high.

Fiction, diction, my heart, my say.

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Brilliant. Then absent, and just absent.
New families answering my heart with "No you were not enough. So, I made a better one."
And there we were . Left. All alone.
Sat in a brown front room.
Loving each other. Making the best of our desolate hearts.
Till death do us part.
He gave love. I guess he gave all he had.
Then he left.
When I remember the vulnerability, the eagerness, the warmth, of his enormous heart. I ache.
I ache.
His question was answered with "No, you do not have what it takes."
So he searched and he searched.
He never found the illusive "it".
So he put his enormous heart away in a box. He kept a little piece of it out, to use for now.
I miss the big heart.
The warm open heart that held no bitterness and bled. It is gentle, strong and full of love.
Life is in there.
I am in there. Where has he put me now.
I think I am not enough . For him.

Anna

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Hand in hand,

Come play with me,

Take heart for we,

Have been set free!

A prayer to the God of my life.

All images and text copyright and sole property of J.R.Marsden. Photo taken at house of S.Valentine.

Lord, I sit upon your lap,

and lift my eyes to you.

I love you with my heart, my life.

I lay it at your feet anew.

I give my heart,

I try to please,

For you my Lord,

are everything.

Please mend the broken bits in me,

So I can mend the others.

I'll share your love,

Your glowing light,

No longer do we live in night.

Black as night at 6.54am

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I love being me. The thrill of the morning. Sat wrapped up in Aunty Elsie's blanky in my pyjama's off Katy's mum. My slipper sox off Jamie's sister. My silvery pink vest given to me by Debz (stepmum 2ice and mother of most of my siblings.) My little sister has the same vest so we are linked. We are always linked to each other and our father with our squishy Marsden nose. My cardigan once belonged to my friend Rachael. My scarf was off Jamie's mother. My bright fingerless gloves were a treat to myself, they match my rather luscious pink pen with which I sit and write. Kindly given by my cousin Diane who bought it in aid of breast cancer (mama). I cuddle my hot water bottle which is covered by Miss LucyLavender Love-eyes. She is a chirkin made and given to me by my two mums, Gina and Devrim. I drink my coffee in a blue mug given to me by Jamie. Really I should be wearing the woolly hat off Nana then the love would be complete.
Thank you God for everyone. Thank you everyone for loving me and keeping me warm. How snuggly. Do I have to move......

The gas has gone.

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3 degrees outside, cosy as toast inside. The gas ran out this morning just after I'd boiled up the last bit of milk for the coffee. I stood by it praying all the while..."jus till i've done the coffees, Lord!!" Prayer answered. Thank you.
Then Jamie had the cracking idea of putting the fire on! I don't normally bother in the day. Too busy (sewing by hand...Erica....) So I put on the gorgeous purring box of firey heat. (that is not meant to be rude) and boiled mesel up a cup a tea. A cracker it is too. Perfectomundo baby. Jamie is at work with one of those new fangled electric coffee makers. I really enjoyed it (even if it did take half an hour).
It reminded me of living in the truck and houses with aga's and cosiness and travels. If only I had a tea cosy (Nana.....)
Well I am going to whisk myself up into a frensy of cleaning. Then I shall do some more creating. Before awaiting my lift to job club where I shall laugh out loud (Again) if Tin-Tin gets all league of gentleman mickey luv about the coloured pens.

Baby Maloney currently hyding in Mart!

Image copyright and sole property of Mart Hyde. ( amazing image Mart get blogging or exhibitions or something). Text copyright of me likljoblogs.
Oh to live by the sea in a pea green boat full of owls and dogs!
Little gorgeous happy bright unsuspecting Stan playing on the beach with his dog friends. Soon to be joined by another. The Maloney-Hydes are good friends of ours and an inspiration and joy as a wee family.
As the day approaches, Mart, enjoy the (relative) peace and may it all go swimmingly.
Swim, swim into the world petite Mademoiselle ou Monsieur Maloney!
I don't know about you but I can't wait!

The gaudiness of goblins

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Folds of feathers,

Pretty papers frou,

Sticky tape and buttons,

Stitches and glue.

BRRR

too cold....to type...must ...sew curtains by ...hand...make door stopper...and drink ...hot drinks...

Oh bloody hell!

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So the car wouldn't start. I thought I can handle this and rearranged job club for Wednesday when the car will hopefully be fixed. I will do something very industrious and useful instead. Thought I,marvelling at the opportunities within my wooly fingered grasp.

" I'll brave the fearsome sewing machine and get on with those much needed curtains." Brrrr she says writing this in fingerless gloves.

I braved the bloody machine and what did it do. It lulled me into a false sense of security then BIT ME!

What the hell is "tension" other than the feeling little miss Singer gives me. After much twiddling of nobs, rethreading, spooling and whatever else ya call it I was doing I rang out for help!!!

Aunty Ev where are you and your wise calm advice!?

Jamie's lovely mother calmed my tense tightly stitched soul. She advised a nice cup of tea, not finishing the curtains today, perhaps more twiddling of nobs. But generally we came to a joint concensus of try them by hand. Much quicker.

Failing all that Erica Pleeeeaaase come home and make my curtains..... I'll do anything!

veeeeolaaay yes we do stock underlaaaaay

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I think the cats pissed on me jumper, but I love it so much i'm gonna wear it anyway.

Veeolaay

Veeolaay

Cats piss gets you

through the daay!

Dawn breaks.

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A new day dawns,

Life unfolds.

Sleepy eyes,

With hearts we hold.

We come to you,

with arms outstretched.

Fill our aches,

with love and You.

Fill us up.

Make us whole.

Take us on,

to our true home.

Guide us gently.

Step by step.

One by two.

We make it through.

You with me,

and me with You.

Birds wake up.

Light fills the sky.

On we fly,

through broken lives,

Healing mending,

as we go.

One by one.

You lead us on.

Sunday Sunday so good to me

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As well as the exciting news I recieved in the form of a lovely phone call off my big cuz.(see below's post). We passed a rather luxurious sunday. As did this dog, he is called Roco and lives at the local newsagent. Needless to say the weather is quite winnie the pooh, (golden and blustery). I caught Roco taking full advantage of it. As did we, with a lovely walk in the golden skinwarming sun.
We luxuriated with magazines, the changing round of furniture, the fixing of hoovers with gaffa tape, and the general enjoyment of being at home together.
We didn't actually go to church but we did see an informal parade of remembrancers. Although it may come across as irreverant, I have given appreciation and thoughts and prayers to today and what it means. How apt that little Amy Grace should be born on such a day. A little gift of life in a world of turmoil and war.
My little Billie-ella friend did a lovely little Brownie parade that I wish I'd been there to see. I do see it in my heart . What loveliness we give each other in the form of love and poppies.
Thank you!